2.27.08
JUST BE. JUST BE YOURSELF.

"You've made this day a special day by just your being you. There's no person in the whole world like you and I like you just the way you are."
--Mr. Fred Rogers, Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it means to just be myself. I’ve been practicing being myself too. Liking what I like, not liking what I don’t, saying what I feel, trying to pinpoint what I need and looking for love moments in my life. I'm asking myself questions like “what makes me feel loved?” and as I’m practicing, I’m reminding myself that it’s all okay, that I’m okay just as I am, during each step of the way. It takes a lot of courage to live like this.

It seems odd for me to write that, to feel that way. Why would it take courage for me to just be myself? That seems silly. Being myself is such a natural thing, because, I am myself. Right? Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that too. And, I have a couple of ideas of why being myself and loving it isn’t as easy as it sounds.

In America, it's encouraged to work longer, faster, harder than everyone else does. Get more, weigh less, eat fast, run faster and manage it all and be able to tame the monstrous stack of junk mail including credit cards I never asked for and catalogs I never buy from. It's a more, more, more society that can eat me up whole, whole, whole if I'm not paying attention. If I'm not remembering what's true.

The truth is I do like me just the way I am and I do make every day a special day just by my being me. And, so do you.

That's so much better than believing an ol' bunch of nonsense about needing to upgrade or get the newest version of myself so I can measure up to some arbitrary, invisible yardstick that doesn't even belong to me. There are just things I like and things I don’t and I’m gonna quit trying to figure out why that’s so and just embrace them as they come along.

I've decided to reject the bologna that society tells me I should be doing and listen to what I know and believe is true inside of me.

That’s what Mr. Roger’s would have me do. He would say, "it's such a good feeling to know you're alive, it's such a happy feeling: You're growing inside. And when you wake up ready to say, 'I think I'll make a snappy new day!' It's such a good feeling, a very good feeling . . . "

I invite you to make a snappy new day with me. Every day is a new day. I saw a interview with Mr. Rogers on YouTube the other day and he said, "I hope that [children] can feel good about who they are. You know, there is only one person in the whole world like them. And there's never been anybody before and there never will be anybody after."

We were all children. We all believed that at one point. Our grown-up self just needs a reminder from our little self every now and then. And, that's why I love Mr. Rogers. I love Mr. Rogers! He helps the little kid in me remember when I forget.

Love,
Kiara

5.31.2007
FREEDOM

Yesterday, I was waiting for a 4 Express Train going dowtown at the 125th Street stop in Harlem and the sweetest little boy was busting a move on the platform. He couldn't have been more than six or seven years old and he had more guts than most grownups I know--including me! New York cities subways and platforms are scary sometimes because people have so many contrasting opinions and such busy schedules that they seldom tune in to what's going on around them during the work day. But he wasn't really doing it to entertain. He was doing it because he wanted to and he felt it so deep. That was easy to see. That's what I think made the difference. It was very charming.

He was really going for it in a big way and giving it all he had and it made me wishful and full of wonder . . . it didn't make me think or analyze at all, it just made me feel like I did when I was little . . .when the first thought I had about dancing in front of people didn't have to do with worrying about what other people would think or if they'd make fun of me if I really tried, like he was doing. I love that about little kids. They don't give a rip about that kind of stuff if they are really enjoying something. I love that about grown ups that want to live like little kids too, with that kind of brassy, unadulterated courage. Thank God for that kind of passion!

I was just like him when I was little. My mom tells me stories about how people would ask me to sing and I would stand right up and do it, no matter where it was with a grace and a matter-of-fact quality that is so golden and really encouraged in children. So, it made me wonder, when did we forget that feeling? When did we decide that we were too old to do express that kind of joy? When did big passion become childish? When did we start to believe that lie? When did we decide that as grown-ups we are supposed to play small?

This little boy was breakdancing and moving his feet like he was on hot coals and hopping all over the place and smiling so big! He was so much fun that he drew a huge crowd. He was learning how to do robot moves and body rolls from a teenager that was waiting for the train too . . . it was a such a touching moment for me . . . because I decided he's one of my role models. See, he was just learning but he was trying his best and I felt what he was doing. It was real. It was fun!! And, most of all, it was flooding out of his heart.

So, I've decided that wanna be more and more like him everyday--more and more like how I was when I was a little girl. He just represents the most pure expression of joy and freedom for me. . . and it was a true gift to see him dance. He dances because his body says to . . . and he loves it. It is a magnificient sight.

And, what I know for sure is that we all have gifts that are unique to who we are. One of his is dancing.

My hope for me and for you and for the world is that we all step towards them in baby or big steps and let it shine freely, shine brightly just like the little breakdancing dude. He's so precious. If you are in New York, try and catch him sometime. He was there yesterday after school, around 6:00PM. It's way worth the trip for to see him light up the dark, smelly subway . . . he'll make you wanna do it too. He'll light you up and spin you all around . . . and you'll feel like you're little again . . . and you'll want to play BIG! I guarantee it.

Love,
Kiara

5.30.2007
PHEW . . .IT'S BEEN A WHILE!

HELLO! So much has happened in my life in the last few months . . . it's been great!

I'm excited to share it, a little bit at a time, of course! A few months worth of stuff is bound to take a while! Right? Right. That's what I'm thinking too! :)

The most wonderful and exciting addition to my life has been my puppy!!! I have a maltipoo boy pup named Tucker. He is such a joy. As I'm writing this, he's sitting at the bottom of my chair taking a rest. He's adorable. He looks like a cotton ball and he's got tons of energy. It takes a lot to tucker him out . . . I'm so happy to have him. I got him for my birthday this year and he's the best! Stay tuned for Tucker stories, I'll keep 'em coming . . .

I just got back from my brother's graduation in Tucson and it was so beautiful . . .to see so many young people with dreams, taking new steps, some steady and some that tremble a bit . . . but all so important and meaningful no matter how little or how big. They are going into the world with a blank canvas and a vision. That's so inspiring.

I'm so proud of him and the man that he has become and who he is growing into every day. I've known him since he was born, I prayed for him because I wanted someone to be with, to play with, to take care of and to love . . . and to see him unfold in such a magnificent way truly takes my breath away. I can't wait to watch him find out even more about himself . . .and all the greatness that lies within him . . .just waiting to be discovered. New beginnings bring with them a freshness, a newness, a dew of life that is unique and sparkly like the magic in a new baby's eyes. I just love that. Graduations are amazing to me.

On a totally different note, I just gotta to say that Dunkin' Donuts has got to get their act together on the East coast. I don't eat many Dunkin' Donuts . . . but when I do, they have to have maple frosting. And, apparently, they don't make them on this side of the country. On Mother's Day this year, I went with my mom to the Dunkin' Donuts in Tucson and they had 'em! They are onto something. Why mess with a good thing? Dunkin' Donuts, please work it out and bring some maple donuts to New York. That's all I have to say about that for now. :)

I'll catch up with you more real soon.

Love,
Kiara

1.30.07
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I wanted to catch January before it flew by. :) It's been a while since I've written and I feel like a whole lifetime has passed. It's funny how some parts of life are like that. Sometimes it can feel super slow and then sometimes it feels like the pace of New York times two.

I hope that the holidays were great for all of you. It's wonderful to get to spend time with my family. I don't always get to see them together all at once, so this year was a blessing for me. . . my nephews are growing up so fast! It's wild to think their little eyes are seeing more and more new things each year. It's both exciting and a little scary for me. I love them so much and I never want them to get hurt, but I know that they will get hurt, someday. I just don't want it to be now or any time in the near future! :)

Love is funny that way. Funny how I wish for things like that with my whole heart, even though I know it isn't possible. But, maybe, what I'm really hoping is that I can be a voice for them that helps shape their ears and their eyes to choose a point of view that supports kindness, towards others and towards themselves. Sometimes life is harsh, but most of the time, we make it hard by the way we define what is going on. . . it really is all in the way we see things and that is the only thing we really have power over. So, maybe I can help soften their eyes towards themselves with my words . . . they way they have done for me. Young children always remind me to love more.

My hope for them and for all children, people really, is to continue to see beauty around them, more and more every year . . . this year . . . to look for it on purpose. Then it gets way easier to see the beauty in ourselves, especially in those parts that we think "need work". I love watching kids unfold their courage and shine super big. It's inspiring. It reminds me to do the same. . . that's something I never want to grow out of. Imagination. Dreaming for more. Believing it can come true. Taking a big bite out of something gooey and getting all messy! That's what I'm talking about.

This year, I'm wishing you courage and a beauty filled view through eyes of a child . . .

Love,
Kiara

11.1.2006
SOME THINGS ARE UNSPOKEN.

Things like those are my favorite. When I feel them so deep, so sweet . . . I can't help but breathe deeper than I did before. I love when it wiggles into me like that. It helps me let go of all the extra stuff I'm trying to hold together when life feels jumbled up.

Music moves me. Coarses through me. Whispers to me in a way that nothing else can. It shifts my heart, it wakes me up, draws out my inspiration and lights up my passion for life.

It helps me see all the colors around me, not just the ones I'm used to seeing. Songs gently invite me to see things in a new way. The stories open up pathways for me to connect to myself and to other people. Music soothes me.

When my mind and my feet start going faster than my heart can beat, the rhythm can reach me, the melodies summon me . . .and they draw out the silver and gold from the treasure chest of gifts inside me. Music is my rock.

It's a profound part of me, like the freckles on my cheeks. Like my fingerprints. I can't separate it from me. Music stirs the blood that flows through my veins.

It saves me when I get stuck.
When I feel like I've had enough.
When I feel afraid to take a new step.
It's always there to catch me.

It opens me up and reminds me that I can find love, even in the places that feel squished and too dark to see my hand in front of my face. Love can be there.

Silently, it reminds me that there's no need to be afraid. In a soft way. In a deep way. In a way that my cells and my senses easily understand but that my mind can't always wrap itself around. It's a beautiful thing. It's one of the greatest gifts in my life.

Music helps me plug in, really breathe in and trust in magic again.

Sometimes, the best things are unspoken.

9/6/2006
WELCOME TO MY BRAND NEW WEBSITE!

I’m thrilled to invite you to see it! Take a look around. Please make yourself at home at my new home online. : )

This is the spot on my website where you can check in to find out what I’ve been up to, what I’m thinking about, what I’m feeling . . . this is the place where I get to share more of me with you.

Don’t forget to check out the SHOWS page ‘cause there are lots of great concerts coming up! I would love to see you there!

Love,
Kiara